Seeing Self, Finding Community New England Aces and Aros Zine Volume 1 Fall 2024
This project was headed by Aya and Taylor and made possible through the NEA Discord. With the talents of: Aonezu (ze/zir) - Aonezu.art@gmail.com - page 3 Julia Gilstein (she/her) - page 4 GoodMonikersAllTaken (she/her) - page 5 Isabel Schumacher (she/her) - page 6 McMillan Ilderton Gaither (he/they) - page 7 Jordan Felknor - page 8 Taylor Murphy (he/they) - page 9 Front cover by Aya and back cover by Taylor
A comic, credited to Aonezu: Frame 1: A cartoon creature breaks through a wall, with speech bubble "When I first began to realize I might be Aromantic..." Frame 2: The character says "It was great!" "Woo" "I'm part of humanity after all!!" "AND" Frame 3: "I do not know what to do now." A chart in the background shows arrows from "Dating" to "Romance" to "Marriage" to "Stable housing + family", with a note on the latter, "How do I get here?" Frame 4: "Enter... the aromantic community!" The character meets with other people, with captions: "You can do life stuff with friends or other non-romantic connections." "Comradery", with a speech bubble, "No romo no problem!" "Intentional community building discussions" "Amatonormativity hates them!" Final frame: the character runs forward with an arrow above their head, captioned "And I learned that I can do what I want forever." The arrow points to bubbles labeled "QPRs!", "Mutual Aid!", "Intentional community!", "Platonic co-parenting!" At the bottom: "And the future is bright with possibilities."
To All the Boys (struck out) Girls (struck out) People I Didn't Love Before I said yes to you because I thought I was supposed to. I thought my feelings would change, would reciprocate. My feelings stayed the same. Am I broken? I tried again. Tried again. Again. I hurt you. Us. Me. Am I broken? I found me. I found community. I found self-love, family love, friend love. So much beautiful love, in all its beautiful forms. I love. I am loved. I am unbroken. - Julia Gilstein
A New York Times headline: "For Them, Just Saying No Is Easy", by Mary Duenwald, from June 9, 2025 Screenshot of an e-mail thread: Me: (link to the Times article) Mom: Me too! Grandma: And me! - GoodMonikersAllTaken
A comic, credited to Isabel Schumacher: Why I, an AroAce Person, am Queer Frame 1: Two cartoon birds have a conversation at a table. Bird 1 says: "I'm queer. I'm not romantically or sexually attracted to anyone." Bird 2 says: "Hmm. I feel the same. But why do you say you're queer. Why is it part of LGBTQ?" Frame 2: "Part of the reason I identify as queer is because at first I thought I was gay... then bi..." In middle school, Bird 1 says "You're awesome." to another bird sitting on a bench in middle school, then thinks, "Am I gay? Whiptail lizards are cool and gay!" In high school, Bird 1 thinks, "I'm very fond of him, but now that we're dating, hanging out feels weird." Frame 3: "Another reason is that I think some of the assumptions that hurt other LGBT people also hurt us." Bird 1 lies down with a fishing pole by a hole, surrounded by text: "You're too young to know." "Don't you think he's handsome?" "You just have not met the right person yet." Further down the fishing hole, a fish bites, with more text: "What do I want and what does society tell me I want?" "Why is it so hard to accept me?" "Am I too young to know?" "Will I be alone forever?" "Maybe I can try harder." "Part of adulthood is having a partner." Frame 4: "But for me, the biggest part of identifying with the LGBTQ umbrella is having a community, people who understand and support me, and people I will support in turn." Below that text, various scenes of Bird 1 hanging out with other birds in various events such as a GSA and Pride.
freedom from the compulsory should-be, the assumed supposed-to-be; instead becoming whole as my inherent self. not innately within the appearances and requisites of how others may be, my body is for me. my body is for caregiving, my body is for joy! it does not have to be for more, it does not have to achieve an external narrative, an imposed function. my loves reach wide, opening for compassion, for comradery, for community. not restricted to a dominant script, to a prescribed purpose, to a static existence... instead shifting with seasons, years, decades, in a forest of orientations, a gray field from which to roam. - McMillan Ilderton Gaither
A comic, credited to Jordan Felknor: "It took me so much longer to figure out i was aromantic than it did to figure out i was asexual." Frame 1: "For reference, I first considered I might be ace when I was 11 years old." A person with long green hair sits in front of a computer, captioned "On Tumblr on family computer." Frame 2: "On the flip side, I first considered I might be aro when I was 18 years old." The same person, now with short purple hair, lies in bed. Frame 3: "Why is that?" Zoom in on the scene from the previous frame. Frame 4: "For one thing, the way I felt about sex was very different from the way I felt about romance. Figuring out you're ace isn't too hard when you have absolutely zero interest in sex, after all." Younger Jordan makes a disgusted face at a person showing a page with a "censored" scribble. Frame 5: "But I loved romance... at least in theory." Jordan, with label "15 y/o Jordan on AO3", sits with a mobile phone, imagining two characters surrounded by hearts and starbursts. Frame 6: "And it didn't help that I can become very attached to specific friends, since I often mistook that feeling for a romantic crush. It took me nearly 7 years to realize that, while I enjoy the idea of romance..." Between these sentences, Jordan, getting older and shorter-haired, talks to someone, hugs someone else, and sits at a computer, with a heart and question mark above their head in each interaction. Frame 7: "Romantic attraction is rare to nonexistent for me. Now that I've figured that out, I can stop waiting for the white whale of romance to appear to me." Jordan sits in a boat, staring out, saying "huh, guess it's not here after all." Frame 8: "Instead, I've been able to better appreciate all the other relationships in my life. I love my friends, and I love being aro!" Jordan stands, happy, surrounded by hearts and silhouettes of other people.
Ardor like a flower: seed planted buried so long and whispered to with water and gentle nights the bud of which is not noticed until too green to ignore, gently studied with sunlight and worry and quiet consideration. Soft tending. Deliberation through verse. Petals unfurling, thing of cultivation a saturation expected but a hue not, blink and you'll miss the bloom before it folds into something new altogether. a cicada: hibernating still and wild and gnarled, craving something beyond but inevitable, dormant until it screams with hunger and shattered song remembering that it does itself live every seventeenth year with spectacle and corrosive vibrancy humming in accordance with something ancient until left a shell and resounding in each wave to come. - Taylor Murphy
This zine was a project by a few members of the New England Aces and Aros (NEA) community. Throughout this project, we kept coming back to the value of community. We would like to thank the NEA community and the communities of support that have helped us realize our journeys as aros and aces.
The New England Aces (NEA) is a group for asexual spectrum individuals and allies that provides support in an open and affirming environment, builds community based on friendship and respect, and promotes awareness of asexual spectrum identities in the New England area through outreach, trainings, and collaboration with community partners. If you are interested in getting involved in NEA, you can check us out online at https://neaces.org
New England Aces and Aros neaces.org newenglandaces@gmail.com
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